Reasons to stay

So some of my close family and friends know that this is a sure thing, but I haven't told the world yet. I thought I might write a blog to let you know, because I haven't updated you in a while.

So here goes, this year has been a whirlwind. It's been living my dream, and an adventure, healing, challenging, and real life, but everything I wanted it to be too. I didn't have very many expectations when moving here because I didn't want to get my hopes up that it was going to be something grand and life changing, when it wasn't because I don't like to be disappointed. SO in saying that, I just knew that I love Spain and spanish culture, and that I wanted to be here and everything kind of fell into place with timing (which timing never works out for me, so it was such a good sign). Also on the expectations note, living abroad is also NOT study abroad round 2. When I lived in Sevilla and studied abroad, I had Manoli (my señora) who cooked me 3 meals a day, who washed and ironed my laundry, who cleaned my room bi-weekly, went grocery shopping for me, and provided basically everything I need (including toilet paper and hot milk/honey when i was sick). I had Mary Alice, who was our TCU coordinator in Sevilla, who bought and gave us our metro passes every month, and showed us how to get cell phones, and took us on culture outings around Sevilla. In Sevilla, I also had 4 classes during the whole semester, so I was in class Monday through Friday but for a maximum of 3-5 hrs a day. So I all I had to do in Sevilla, was live, breathe, and have fun.

Living in Madrid is real life. And while Sevilla was wonderful and the best adventure, it was a dream life and I was very taken care of. But in Madrid, I'm an adult and real person, and this my life. And while I get to galavant to different countries on holiday weekends, I still have to live my life. So I work 8 hours a day, and I do my own laundry, cook for myself, I have to budget my money and sometimes I'm poor, I buy my own groceries, I clean my room, and make/have friends, etc. But even with all this "adultness," I really like this life.

Also, living abroad for at least a year is something I've always wanted to do. It's also something I've always wanted to do for myself and for no one else, so that was a big deal. I needed to do this because I wanted to do it and it wasn't part of anyone else's plan for me or I didn't have to sacrifice any part of my will because this was for me, and me only.

I like this life so much that I've decided to stay another year. I will be working for the same school, teaching English in Madrid come next fall. And while I dearly miss being an SLP and working with kids with special needs and hearing loss and it still is my life's passion; teaching English and my job here allows me to be abroad. And I know it's not in this plan of the life I'm "suppose" to follow, being an adult doesn't really always look like going to college, grad school, getting your SLP license, and then quitting your job 2 yrs later to move abroad and leave all that you worked for behind. I understand that it's not following this master plan. But I am firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and plans change, and things fall apart so other things can fall into place.

And while I still LOVE los angeles, and I absolutely LOVE my family, friends, and life there, and i miss them dearly... my family will be in los angeles forever (they'll never leave that city), and my friends will always be my friends no matter where we are, and the dodgers and the beach and the sun will always be there, and being here is something i've always wanted to do, and part of my life and my heart is here now, so staying another year is the best decision for me and it's what is making me happy right now.

So I decided instead of making a list of 50 reasons to be happy, I've decided to make a list of 50 reasons to stay, because I have so many.

50. the number of electronics i have with european plugs is soon going to surpass the number of electronics i have with american plugs
49. Spain doesn't rush me
48. My passport isn't full yet, I still have pages to fill with stamps
47. Feria de Sevilla
46. Tostada con aceite y tomate
45. Christmas in Europe is magical
44. I still need to travel to all the autonomous communities in Spain
43. Churros and chocolate
42. I still need to see Real Madrid celebrate a win in Plaza de Cibeles
41. Tortilla de patatas and going out to picar in general
40. Because I love the fresh air and being outside
39. Because I drink café con leche at recreo everyday
38. sundayselfiesinspain
37. Christmas in Sevilla
36. Dos besos
35. Carnaval, and spanish fiestas in general
34. Free tapas with your drink
33. Because wine is cheaper than water
32. Spainsgiving
31. Friends who get you Papizza when walking home in the middle of the night
30. Christmas dinners with every friend group
29. My Madrid bucketlist isn't finished
28. Because I still need to go to Turkey and Greece
27. Warm afternoons in retiro park
26. Christmas lights
25. I get to travel the world
24. Open air markets like Rastro or Mercado de Motores
23. Sitting on terrazzas and soaking up the sun in general
22. Sitting on terrazzas drinking tinto de verano
21. Walking and less driving is healthier for me
20. Because people work to live, they don't to live to work
19. Because my heart will always have wander lust and I will always be a gypsy (the good kind)
18. Going to sleep at 7am in the morning after a night out
17. This life makes me less anxious and less intense, and less caught up with the crazy and competitiveness of having a career
16. I can't give up siestas everyday
15. Sunday brunch
14. Being on "spanish time"
13. Because I feel like sometimes, I'm the best version of myself here
12. Having friends with the same mentality as you, friends who understand how to travel and who want to see the world like you do
11. I'm just not ready to go yet, I would be devastated if I had to leave
10. I didn't even know I needed healing, but this life helps me heal
9. No me ha dejado
8. Sobre mesa
7. I'm not done learning Spanish yet
6. My infantil (preschool/kinder) babies, even the bratty ones
5. Chasing sunsets
4. My teacher friends
3. My friends here
2. I'm happy here
1. I like this life

I know this is super cliche, but I love this poem and these words seemed fitting for this post.

The Road Not Taken

BY ROBERT FROST

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

life update!! adventures in dublin, brussels, & cadiz.

"to live is the rarest thing in the world. most people just exist" - oscar wilde

I know i'm desperately in need of a blog post but i can't even begin to explain how busy life has been. the good kind of busy. the happy kind of busy, so all is well.

Since January, I have been to dublin, galway, and the Cliffs of Moher which took us really all over the western coast of ireland; Brussels and Bruges which are in belgium, and last weekend I was in Cadiz for Carnaval. It has been such a whirlwind and so much fun. But for the next month, I will be in Madrid and then April will get crazy with traveling again.

Let's start with Dublin, so Elli and I went to Dublin to go see Maroon 5 in concert, which was incredible. I forget how much I LOVE live music. And how that's how all music should be. The 02 in Dublin was a really small venue, so it was great and Adam Levine is a dream boat, so swoon. We ran around Dublin for the day and saw the Dublin Castle, the Guinness factory, Trinity College that houses the Long Room and the Book of Kells. We also took a bus at 6am to Galway, then from there did a bus tour and went on this hike up a hill in Ireland farm country (and saw goats) on our way to the Cliffs of Moher. The Cliffs of Moher were PHENOMENAL. It's like one of those places that you've always dreamed of being and you always wish you could stay. It was worth the whole day of winding roads and being cramped on a bus to get there. It was super windy and cold, and my hair was super hat hair-esque, but nevertheless it was beautiful. AND harry potter and the half blood prince (HP6) - the cave scene, where voldemort hides the locket horcrux was filmed there, which makes it even more awesome.

Elli and I ate our way through Dublin which was full of lots of veggie soups and potatoes. We went to the Guinness Factory and did the tour, went to Whelan's - which is the bar in PS I LOVE YOU, and got to see lots of happy ginger irish people that you dream of when you think of Dublin.

There were lots of birthday celebrations in mid-january, we did a super cute and fun birthday 26th dinner on the night of my birthday and we went out the weekend before to celebrate both Brittani's and my birthday. And on Sunday morning, we did birthday brunch for Brittani's birthday. Before I left LA, we did a family birthday dinner which was really fun, so I'm glad I got to celebrate my 26th yr all over the world. :)

After that, we had a puente (long weekend, with Friday off of work) at the end of January. Elli and I hopped a plane to Belgium for the holiday and had lots of fun. It was still cold in Belgium but not as cold as we thought it would be. We ate lots of frites (fries), gofres (waffles), and chocolate! It was a quick but good weekend. We spent Friday in Brussels and got to see everything. Brussels was super urban, and reminded me a little bit of Budapest, and a little bit like Dublin mixed, but a little dirtier (unclean). It felt like a very immigrant city, like lots of international people. Everyone in Brussels also spoke French, with a little English which was really interesting because Amsterdam is really close and in Amsterdam the dominant language is English. So I was super surprised that we went a lot of places and there were people that spoke very little English. On Saturday, we took a 1 hr train to Brugge. And I LOVED Brugge!! It was what you picture Belgium to be - with canals and little houses lined in a row, very much like Amsterdam but smaller and amazingly beautiful. Elli and I ate lunch at this super cute cafe that made their own quiches by hand and they had more veggie soup!! We bought lots of belgian chocolate truffles while we were in Brugge too. My favorite thing we did was that we took a boat ride through the canals, which made us really cold but it was so worth it. We might have drank our weight in tea that weekend as well, to help keep us warm.

February went by really quickly, and I can't believe it's already March!! Last weekend, Elli and I went to Carnaval in Cadiz with her roommate Ale (whose is from Cadiz) and his friends. I almost didn't go because I got a really awful stomach virus and was in bed with a fever for 4 days straight. I couldn't even get out of bed and walk to the doctor, it was that bad. I called my dad and he thought I was dying, and he wrote me an email later saying he had been praying for me everyday (not that he doesn't already) but you get how rough it was. Carnaval was really fun. Julio (Ale's friend) drove us in his car, so on Friday morning/afternoon we packed up and piled into the car, 3 boys and Elli, and me on a 6.5 hr car ride to Cadiz. It was fun to see Spain from a different point of view and go on a road trip. We played lots of car games, looking for signs starting with the Alphabet, and Happy/Sad slash honking the horn game. Julio, Luis, and Adrian thought it was really funny that all we wanted to do was play games all weekend (car games/drinking games). The car wasn't as fun as you would think though, I slept some, but it was pretty cramped for 6.5 hrs. The weekend was really good though. On friday night, we watched the Chirigotas perform on TV at Ale's house and we ordered Telepizza. I couldn't eat pizza because I was still sick and hadn't eaten all week, so Elli and I made rice and veggies that I ate. Which is funny because I ate rice while everyone ate pizza. On Saturday, we woke up around 1 and we saw people singing on floats (kind of like chirigotas) but in a parade, and we drank Moscatel all day (which is the typical Carnaval drink of Cadiz). Day drinking was super fun and we finally went home around 7ish. We took a two hour nap, then started cutting out felt patches, and sewing them on our costumes, it was so rushed and a little cutre (chinsy) because we had like 10 mins to do it. But it was fun, we made spanish flag patches, airplanes, and world patches because we were Goose and Mav from Top Gun. We even had mustaches and aviators with our army green jumpsuits. We botteloned in the street most of the night and then ended up going to the carpa (tent) at like 5 or 6 in the morning to dance and drink more. And we finally made it home at like 7 or 8 in the morning, it was fun to see everyone's costumes and just be out all night. AND I have to tell you, Ale's house was awesome, it was right on the beach and the view of sunrise/sunset was amazing. Definitely lots of sun chasing these past two months. I haven't uploaded pictures from my phone to my computer of Cadiz yet, so I will have to put them in the next post.

So the past two months have been a whirlwind to say the least, but that's more becoming the norm of my life, and i don't particularly mind that. :) Also I'm reading the Divergent Series (I bought divergent in Dublin) and it's amazing. It's like Hunger Games and the Giver combined. I bought the next books in the series, on amazon UK and they are suppose to come this week!!!

Things to look forward to in the next month.... DAD'S TRIP!!! My dad is coming for spring break and I cannot wait!! We are going to barcelona, paris, and portugal. I miss him so much, I can't wait to spend time with him. Also Matt and Krystal are coming to Madrid the week before my dad comes which will be so fun because I will get to show them my city and I will get to talk to Matt about books. And it's finally getting warmer in Madrid, so sundress/tights and cardigan weather is here and that makes me so happy.

"Be who you are, not who the world wants you to be."