Reasons to stay

So some of my close family and friends know that this is a sure thing, but I haven't told the world yet. I thought I might write a blog to let you know, because I haven't updated you in a while.

So here goes, this year has been a whirlwind. It's been living my dream, and an adventure, healing, challenging, and real life, but everything I wanted it to be too. I didn't have very many expectations when moving here because I didn't want to get my hopes up that it was going to be something grand and life changing, when it wasn't because I don't like to be disappointed. SO in saying that, I just knew that I love Spain and spanish culture, and that I wanted to be here and everything kind of fell into place with timing (which timing never works out for me, so it was such a good sign). Also on the expectations note, living abroad is also NOT study abroad round 2. When I lived in Sevilla and studied abroad, I had Manoli (my señora) who cooked me 3 meals a day, who washed and ironed my laundry, who cleaned my room bi-weekly, went grocery shopping for me, and provided basically everything I need (including toilet paper and hot milk/honey when i was sick). I had Mary Alice, who was our TCU coordinator in Sevilla, who bought and gave us our metro passes every month, and showed us how to get cell phones, and took us on culture outings around Sevilla. In Sevilla, I also had 4 classes during the whole semester, so I was in class Monday through Friday but for a maximum of 3-5 hrs a day. So I all I had to do in Sevilla, was live, breathe, and have fun.

Living in Madrid is real life. And while Sevilla was wonderful and the best adventure, it was a dream life and I was very taken care of. But in Madrid, I'm an adult and real person, and this my life. And while I get to galavant to different countries on holiday weekends, I still have to live my life. So I work 8 hours a day, and I do my own laundry, cook for myself, I have to budget my money and sometimes I'm poor, I buy my own groceries, I clean my room, and make/have friends, etc. But even with all this "adultness," I really like this life.

Also, living abroad for at least a year is something I've always wanted to do. It's also something I've always wanted to do for myself and for no one else, so that was a big deal. I needed to do this because I wanted to do it and it wasn't part of anyone else's plan for me or I didn't have to sacrifice any part of my will because this was for me, and me only.

I like this life so much that I've decided to stay another year. I will be working for the same school, teaching English in Madrid come next fall. And while I dearly miss being an SLP and working with kids with special needs and hearing loss and it still is my life's passion; teaching English and my job here allows me to be abroad. And I know it's not in this plan of the life I'm "suppose" to follow, being an adult doesn't really always look like going to college, grad school, getting your SLP license, and then quitting your job 2 yrs later to move abroad and leave all that you worked for behind. I understand that it's not following this master plan. But I am firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and plans change, and things fall apart so other things can fall into place.

And while I still LOVE los angeles, and I absolutely LOVE my family, friends, and life there, and i miss them dearly... my family will be in los angeles forever (they'll never leave that city), and my friends will always be my friends no matter where we are, and the dodgers and the beach and the sun will always be there, and being here is something i've always wanted to do, and part of my life and my heart is here now, so staying another year is the best decision for me and it's what is making me happy right now.

So I decided instead of making a list of 50 reasons to be happy, I've decided to make a list of 50 reasons to stay, because I have so many.

50. the number of electronics i have with european plugs is soon going to surpass the number of electronics i have with american plugs
49. Spain doesn't rush me
48. My passport isn't full yet, I still have pages to fill with stamps
47. Feria de Sevilla
46. Tostada con aceite y tomate
45. Christmas in Europe is magical
44. I still need to travel to all the autonomous communities in Spain
43. Churros and chocolate
42. I still need to see Real Madrid celebrate a win in Plaza de Cibeles
41. Tortilla de patatas and going out to picar in general
40. Because I love the fresh air and being outside
39. Because I drink café con leche at recreo everyday
38. sundayselfiesinspain
37. Christmas in Sevilla
36. Dos besos
35. Carnaval, and spanish fiestas in general
34. Free tapas with your drink
33. Because wine is cheaper than water
32. Spainsgiving
31. Friends who get you Papizza when walking home in the middle of the night
30. Christmas dinners with every friend group
29. My Madrid bucketlist isn't finished
28. Because I still need to go to Turkey and Greece
27. Warm afternoons in retiro park
26. Christmas lights
25. I get to travel the world
24. Open air markets like Rastro or Mercado de Motores
23. Sitting on terrazzas and soaking up the sun in general
22. Sitting on terrazzas drinking tinto de verano
21. Walking and less driving is healthier for me
20. Because people work to live, they don't to live to work
19. Because my heart will always have wander lust and I will always be a gypsy (the good kind)
18. Going to sleep at 7am in the morning after a night out
17. This life makes me less anxious and less intense, and less caught up with the crazy and competitiveness of having a career
16. I can't give up siestas everyday
15. Sunday brunch
14. Being on "spanish time"
13. Because I feel like sometimes, I'm the best version of myself here
12. Having friends with the same mentality as you, friends who understand how to travel and who want to see the world like you do
11. I'm just not ready to go yet, I would be devastated if I had to leave
10. I didn't even know I needed healing, but this life helps me heal
9. No me ha dejado
8. Sobre mesa
7. I'm not done learning Spanish yet
6. My infantil (preschool/kinder) babies, even the bratty ones
5. Chasing sunsets
4. My teacher friends
3. My friends here
2. I'm happy here
1. I like this life

I know this is super cliche, but I love this poem and these words seemed fitting for this post.

The Road Not Taken

BY ROBERT FROST

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.